This is a test

Instead of giving my classes a final written exam, I assigned a project in which they had to create a news story about an issue facing Angolan society. They were told to form groups of 3 or 4 and were required to conduct at least 3 interviews in English in order to gather information for the report. I designed the project in such a way that it was virtually impossible for them to copy and paste from a Wikipedia page. More for my own sanity than anything else. I really didn't think I could physically survive reading another 100 copyrighted papers.
Each group had to submit a short paper and give a 5 minute presentation about their topic. I assigned the project 3 weeks before exams started, which I should mention is a 6-week spectacle. There are 2 weeks of exams, which the professors take their sweet time correcting. This is then followed by not 1 but 2 "retakes." I haevn't seen it with my own eyes, but have been told that this system is rife with corruption, ie students paying professors in order to receive higher grades. When I received my final exam schedule, I immediately noticed that the Department Head had scheduled 2 exams on November 5th - an Angolan holiday, and not just any holiday. It's Angolan Idependence Day. So it would pretty much be like the administration of an American university accidentally scheduling exams on the 4th of July. I called the Department Head, who had not noticed the mistake until I brought it to his attention.
"Oh, I guess we didn't realize that. Well, it's no problem. You can just schedule your exams whenever you want, " was his solution.
Ummm so now I am responsible for getting in touch with all the students and figuring out another time to take the exam? Last time I checked, that is your job buddy, not mine. I called the class delegates, who were not at all phased by the mishap, since they are very accustomed to such dysfunction, and they assured me that they would let everyone know of the change. Not off to the best start.
I wish I could say that the student presentation blew me away and I finally felt like I had reached these students. Sorry, folks, but there are no happy endings here. Not only were the presentations remarkably underwhelming, but I had major discinplinary issues to deal with throughout the exam period. Students coming in late, talking during presentations, groups of people coming and going, etc. I was forced to lecture each class repeatedly about respecting one another by listenting and paying attention. Definitely not things that should need to be explained at the college level. They also insisted on asking me questions while their classmates were presenting. "Professor, there are 6 people in our group. It's OK?" Nope. The most infuriating part about the whole experience was that most people were talking because they were preparing their presentations. Seriously?! You had 3 weeks to do this! And this is your final exam! Get it together, guys.

The silver lining in all of this is that the papers include some real gems. Here are some of my favorites:

"Many have no hygiene with their own body and when they enter the bus a salad of Russian unpleasant smells."

Taken from a report on transportation problems in Luanda, the content of which focused entirely on the poor hygiene of bus passengers. 

An excerpt from: Declining of Moral Values in Terms of Dressing Among Ladies in Luanda

"A university student said that he loves to see girls wearing “tchuna baby” (very short dress) he can date one but he would never marry her because she is a girl who belongs to everyone and his future wife must preserve her reputation. He also adds that nowadays things are easy because he remembered that when he was a little boy it was really difficult to see a girl’s underwear, but now it is too easy, even if you don’t want to see you will." 

"When you dress like a prostitute, you will be addressed as one."

I feel like my mother gave me this exact same warning right around the time I started experimenting with make-up and low-cut shirts, except she used the term “floozy” instead of prostitute. 

"The clients in the town city of Luanda are from all ages, and they are not permitted to take long in the act, the maximum time for a F*** is less than 5 minutes. If they take long they double the price or they tell them to leave."

The students wrote the F word numerous times though the paper in bold, capital letters, and underlined. They wrote the actual word, but since this blog is PG, I did some censoring.

This list was included in a report on traditional weddings. Should ring a bell with regular readers. 

Things requested for bride price:

500 USD or 400 USD

2 bottles of whiskey (Johnnie Walker)

Cloth type wax Nederland’s 

12 boxes of soft drink

12 boxes of beer

1 flagon of wine

1 flagon of maruvu (traditional drink)

Cola (a bitter product which is used when maravu is being drinking)

1 suit and 1 pair shoes for the father of the woman

1 suit and 1 pair of shoes for the uncle of the woman (brother of the mother)

1 cock and 1 chicken

1 kid

Blankets for grandparents of woman

Cigarettes

Somewhere along the line, these students were told that they had to include a dedication every time they handed in an assignment to a teacher. Here are some of my favorites:

I wish to sincerely register my appreciation to my family and friends, sweetheart and all people who like me.

Firstly we thank God for all the things that did for us and we want thanks our Dear and Loved Teacher Brigid Nee.
I prefer to be addressed Honorable and Beloved Leader, but this will do

First we would like to thank the almighty God, the one who gave us strength and will to seek knowledge. Our beloved teachers for keeping us though since the beginning and gave us a piece of idea for the enrichment of this assignment. Mother, friends, and all those who influenced direct or indirectly, from Chinese man that printed our paper, to our classmates who found mistakes in the writing stuff so that we promptly corrected it and could go back to the Chinese man to print again. Thank you!