Despedida

Good-byes are a fixture in the life of a nomad, such as myself. This good-bye is different. It is final. I can say with almost certainty that I will never come back to Angola. There are many people here who were important to me that I will never see again. There is much about this place that I won’t miss, but people do not fall into that category. My students, colleagues, and friends have made it all worthwhile. On Sunday, my friend Julie and I had a “despedida” or going away party on my roof. We shared a meal, drinks, and laughter with our friends and colleagues for the last time and marveled at how sad we were about leaving. There were countless times when I said to myself, “I have to get the hell out of here!” but when it finally came, I was not quite as ecstatic as I imagined I would be. It’s the end of a chapter that will forever live on in my memory as a defining period in my life.

I leave with a sense of pride and accomplishment for the work that I have done and the hope that the progress I have made will continue long after I’m gone. Angola will always hold a place in my heart and mind for the experiences I've had and the things I've learned, not only about my profession, but about myself. I found love here, and lost a student. I was challenged in ways that I never thought possible and struggled with the balance of my own expectations and reality. It is my wish that this past year has made me a more compassionate and patient person as well as a more perceptive and understanding educator.

The other night, in the car on the way home from dinner, my friend asked me, “Are you hopeful about Angola?” I didn't know what to say. That’s a difficult question. My innate optimism wanted to say yes, but my experience here wanted to say no. Of course I want things to get better. I want my students to live in a place where hard work is recognized and rewarded. I want them to believe that anything is possible, and that they have the power to build a better life for themselves and their families. That place doesn't exist for them now, but I hope and pray with all my heart that someday soon it will.

For now, I will leave you with some parting words from my favorite fellow traveler:

"Travel isn't always pretty. It isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart, but that's okay. The journey changes you. It should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind." - Anthony Bourdain