Reverse Culture Shock (a.k.a. "Re-entry Shock", or "own culture shock" may take place — returning to one's home culture after growing accustomed to a new one can produce the same effects as adjusting to a new culture. This results from the psychosomatic and psychological consequences of the readjustment process to the primary culture.The affected person often finds this more surprising and difficult to deal with than the original culture shock. This phenomenon, the reactions that members of the re-entered culture exhibit toward the re-entrant, and the inevitability of the two are encapsulated in the saying "you can't go home again." (Wikipedia)
After coming and going so frequently, you would think that I wouldn't experience this shock anymore, but I do. Every time it's a little different, depending on which country I went to and what happened while I was gone, both here and there. After such a trying year, you would think that returning to the US would immediately result in a constant state of pure joy. I imagined myself walking around in a carefree bubble - skipping down the city streets with a purse full of valuables without even a slight fear that I would be stabbed. What a country! Obviously, that is not the way this works. Of course there is the immediate euphoria surrounding reunions with friends and family, and that was heightened this time since I returned the day before Christmas Eve. There were so many festivities that I didn't even have time to process being home again.
I also imagined that I would be gorging myself nonstop on the delicious foods that I missed while I was away. Angola is not exactly a culinary destination, so eating was one of the activities I looked forward to most, but of course that didn't go as planned either. It seems that I brought a little piece of Angola with me back to the States in the form of a parasite called giardia. It's very common in developing countries and is easily treated with antibiotics, but one of the symptoms is decreased appetite and nausea. It also involves some more disgusting effects, but I will spare you the details. So the bad news is, for the first 3 weeks that I was home, I barely ate anything, but the good news is I lost a ton of weight, so score 1 for parasites! To be honest, I was a little hesitant to kill it. I mean I can handle a little vomiting now and again if it means I look this good. One of the side effects of the antibiotic I took was anorexia. Should I be concerned here?
While I did some job searching in the last few months that I was away, I wasn't too concerned with not having anything lined up upon my return. My sister offered to let me stay with here and I had saved some money. I also felt like I had deserved some down time, but doing nothing always seems like a nicer idea than actually doing nothing. I encourage anyone who has a full-time job and is constantly wishing for more free time to write down all the things you would do if you had the time to do them. When faced with full days and night of no obligation, it becomes very easy to literally do nothing and not use the time productively. I spent a solid week (okay, 2) on the couch watching Parenthood (and crying). Man, that show really gets me. For me, when I have nothing to do, it's hard for me to do anything. Then I start feeling bad about myself, which makes me want to sit on the couch even more. Do you see the downward spiral developing here?
Finally, an opportunity came my way. One of my brother's clients needed someone to help organize his books and CD's so he suggested that I do it. I jumped at the chance because I love organizing and my laziness had far surpassed pathetic. As we speak, I am importing CD's onto iTunes. I wouldn't exactly say that this job requires a Master's degree, but at least I have somewhere to go every day. I don't feel like I am saving the world but it's about as low stress a task as it gets, so maybe that's just what I need right now. I'm in a period of transition. Hopefully, I won't be alphabetizing books for the rest of my life, but it works for now. Something else will come along. It always does.
Can I go home again? Sure, but I'm not the same and neither is home. On second thought, home doesn't change all that much. Okay, so some babies were born while I was away and some people got engaged. Whatever. What changes is the way I perceive home and the people in it. I have a different perspective that no one here understands and that's fine. I'm the outsider here just as I was in Angola because staying in one place and "nesting" and doing all the things that normal people do scare me. I wish I could be more like them, but I'm not. It's only a matter of time before I become restless again and seek out a new adventure. By now, everyone at home has come to expect that, so it won't be a shock.
After coming and going so frequently, you would think that I wouldn't experience this shock anymore, but I do. Every time it's a little different, depending on which country I went to and what happened while I was gone, both here and there. After such a trying year, you would think that returning to the US would immediately result in a constant state of pure joy. I imagined myself walking around in a carefree bubble - skipping down the city streets with a purse full of valuables without even a slight fear that I would be stabbed. What a country! Obviously, that is not the way this works. Of course there is the immediate euphoria surrounding reunions with friends and family, and that was heightened this time since I returned the day before Christmas Eve. There were so many festivities that I didn't even have time to process being home again.
I also imagined that I would be gorging myself nonstop on the delicious foods that I missed while I was away. Angola is not exactly a culinary destination, so eating was one of the activities I looked forward to most, but of course that didn't go as planned either. It seems that I brought a little piece of Angola with me back to the States in the form of a parasite called giardia. It's very common in developing countries and is easily treated with antibiotics, but one of the symptoms is decreased appetite and nausea. It also involves some more disgusting effects, but I will spare you the details. So the bad news is, for the first 3 weeks that I was home, I barely ate anything, but the good news is I lost a ton of weight, so score 1 for parasites! To be honest, I was a little hesitant to kill it. I mean I can handle a little vomiting now and again if it means I look this good. One of the side effects of the antibiotic I took was anorexia. Should I be concerned here?
While I did some job searching in the last few months that I was away, I wasn't too concerned with not having anything lined up upon my return. My sister offered to let me stay with here and I had saved some money. I also felt like I had deserved some down time, but doing nothing always seems like a nicer idea than actually doing nothing. I encourage anyone who has a full-time job and is constantly wishing for more free time to write down all the things you would do if you had the time to do them. When faced with full days and night of no obligation, it becomes very easy to literally do nothing and not use the time productively. I spent a solid week (okay, 2) on the couch watching Parenthood (and crying). Man, that show really gets me. For me, when I have nothing to do, it's hard for me to do anything. Then I start feeling bad about myself, which makes me want to sit on the couch even more. Do you see the downward spiral developing here?
Finally, an opportunity came my way. One of my brother's clients needed someone to help organize his books and CD's so he suggested that I do it. I jumped at the chance because I love organizing and my laziness had far surpassed pathetic. As we speak, I am importing CD's onto iTunes. I wouldn't exactly say that this job requires a Master's degree, but at least I have somewhere to go every day. I don't feel like I am saving the world but it's about as low stress a task as it gets, so maybe that's just what I need right now. I'm in a period of transition. Hopefully, I won't be alphabetizing books for the rest of my life, but it works for now. Something else will come along. It always does.
Can I go home again? Sure, but I'm not the same and neither is home. On second thought, home doesn't change all that much. Okay, so some babies were born while I was away and some people got engaged. Whatever. What changes is the way I perceive home and the people in it. I have a different perspective that no one here understands and that's fine. I'm the outsider here just as I was in Angola because staying in one place and "nesting" and doing all the things that normal people do scare me. I wish I could be more like them, but I'm not. It's only a matter of time before I become restless again and seek out a new adventure. By now, everyone at home has come to expect that, so it won't be a shock.
